Side effects may include gray hair, heart palpitations, fainting and ulcers

Matt Blum's post yesterday on GeekDad -- Awkward Questions: The Downside to Inquisitive Kids -- encapsulates two of my recently blossoming pet peeves: Parent-unfriendly product placement, and inconveniently timed, adult-themed marketing.

Both peeves will rear their ugly head today, especially the latter. It's Sunday, and the Patriots will be on at 4:15 ET, followed by the Red Sox at 7. If I am fortunate to control the television for the latter part of today, I'll be watching, most likely with a tyke or two playing in the same room -- if not actually watching the games from time to time.

At some point during both games, I fully expect to briefly leave the room to grab a refreshment, and the dreaded jingle will blare from the television....

"Viva, Viagra! Viva, Viagra!"

If the boys glance up at the TV, they'll likely be amused, depending on which of the ads is airing. One, titled "Tango," will show a man tossing the remote into the back yard, while the woman tosses her telephone, magazines and other distractions in the same direction while they ready for their implied evening tryst. The other will show a husband donning a baby blue 1970s wedding tuxedo, dancing his way to anniversary glory as he bestows roses upon his spouse, convincing her to join him upstairs.

I am dreading the inevitable. And surprisingly, perhaps, I am not most worried about one of the kids asking, "Dad, what is Viagra?" I think I can handle that.

My biggest concern? The 3-year-old lately has been repeating the lyrics of any song within hearing range. It could be Brandy or I singing something in the kitchen, or anything overheard on the grocery store P.A. system, car stero, or television. Yes, it's just a matter of time before Benjamin starts singing along with Viagra ads.

But that's only half of the concern. My real nightmare? Benjamin has also lately been breaking into song sans accompaniment -- at the top of his lungs, no less: "Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, Please shine down on me!"

It's equally as likely that the Viagra song will stick in his head, and he'll start singing it on the playground -- or in preschool. Can you imagine if his friends start singing along? The apocalypse will soon follow.

Why the networks have to show those ads when children are likely to be watching is beyond my comprehension. They're on almost every Sunday afternoon lately. Sure, the ads are tasteful enough, but is it really necessary to capture fathers's attention for such products when their children are likely alongside? Give credit where credit is due: Even the KY ads don't air until after 9 p.m.

I can completely empathize, though, with Blum's despair at the placement of the KY products at the end of an aisle in the Target store. My bigger peeve, though, is the placement of more kid-friendly products -- such as the Hot Wheels, candy and other impulse-buy teasers -- at children's eye level in the checkout line of any supermarket, pharmacy or big-box department store.

Seriously, after winding one's way up and down the supermarket aisles, rejecting every other request of the accompanying children for the latest sugar cereal, the 15th new variety of Oreos, and the chips we don't need because they haven't finished the snacks they picked out last time, do we really need another 5 minutes of whining while we check out? Aren't there enough upsell opportunities throughout the store? Can't we parents have just a few minutes of sanity in the shopping experience?

It's enough to make a parent hire a babysitter just to go shopping.

I wish more stores would follow the lead of the ShopRite in Middletown, NY, where I stopped in two weeks ago while I was on the road. There I found the grocery shopping version of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow: Candy-Free Lane.

I heard angel sing. The sign had a halo, I swear.

If only Stop & Shop and CVS would follow suit....